


For Freddie, Forever.

by TheStateOfConfusion



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Angst and Fluff, Breakup Sex, But I took it straight from wikipedia, But it's also sweet fluff, Character Death because Freddie is dead., Cheating, Degradation, Fix-It, Greek Mythology - Freeform, Happy Ending, I almost forgot, I just want you guys to stay safe, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Internalized Homophobia, John is still married, Just after Freddie's death, M/M, Makeup Sex, Oh, Promise, Rape/Non-con because there are some stuff, Set in 1991, Smut, To make up for everything, anyway, but it has a happy ending, mostly implied and referenced, so I might have excessively tagged stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 10:37:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21196295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStateOfConfusion/pseuds/TheStateOfConfusion
Summary: Someone sold their soul. Now John has to go save him.





	For Freddie, Forever.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time doing a Dork Lovers Server Challenge. I'm excited, and pretty pleased with how this turned out.   
As mentioned in the tags, Character Death warning because the whole plot revolves upon the fact that Freddie died.  
Rape/Non-con, because there are some squicky moments. Coerced? A bit I guess. Rape is referenced once. If you've watched Sherlock, think of Magnussen and the things he did. It's like that. Same thing about the degradation.  
Also, a small reference to child abuse.  
Just stay safe, lovies.  
Oh, and the pictures below, are how I imagine Freddie and John in this fic.

John gazed wearily at the stars. He was on his back, laying on a picnic blanket in the dark. Roger lay close next to him, Brian, was on his other side. Silent tears skittered down his cheeks.  _ Freddie is gone. He's gone. _ Roger hugged him close, slinging an arm over his midriff. Brian found his hand in the darkness. They were as they should be, snuggled close.  _ Except for Freddie. Freddie should be on my left side, face nestled next to my cheek. _ Beside him, John heard a choked sob. 

"I'm sorry, John. It's all my fault." It was from Brian.  _ But why does he think that- _

"Don't be so ridiculous, Bri. It was none of our faults." Roger protested, his voice hoarse from the dry sobs that had racked his body earlier. 

"No, no. It's my fault. Freddie did this to save me." Brian was practically sobbing.

"What?" Asked John sharply, which he instantly regretted.

"Back when I had hepatitis in '73? Remember?"

_ How could I forget? _

"Yeah."

"Well, Fred- he." 

"What, Brian? What did he do?"

"He sold his soul to save me," Brian said quietly.

John was silent.  _ It must be the grief, he's hallucinating.  _

"No, you have to believe me, John. He did. Here look."

John vaguely heard Brian fiddling around with something in the dark. He felt a pang of sorrow for his friend. _ A case of universal guilt. It's not his fault.  _ He felt Brian press something cold and metal into his hand.

"It's a ring." Explained Brian. "It's the one the demon gave to Freddie. He said that Fred could only tell me about the arrangement. You could summon the demon by wearing the ring."

"Bri, I'm not quite sure you're alright. Do you need-"

"Put it on, John." Brian's voice was harsh and demanding. So, John did so, wide-eyed in the darkness. Nothing happened. He waited. Nothing continued to happen.

"Bri-" But John was interrupted by a blinding flash of lighting and a smell of burnt sulfur and smoke. There in front of the three friends, appeared a demon, standing proud and tall. Despite being obviously supernatural, the devil looked surprisingly normal. Dark tufts of hair stood out at odd angles on the creature's head. A whip that looked something like the tail of Mephistopheles was grasped in its left hand. John shivered.  _ What is happening? _

"I was summoned." The voice was strangely eerie as if speaking through thousands of years. A voice that seemed as ancient as the earth, as dangerous as the sea. "Which of these mortals had the audacity to summon me."

John sat up.

"It was I."

The devil looked him up and down.

"You're not much. And who might you be?"

"I'm John Richard Deacon."

"Oh, really? I thought you'd look more…" Its voice trailed off suggestively.

"You've heard about me?"

"Oh, my dear man, I've heard quite a lot of you. In fact, your Mercury won't shut up about you."

John froze.  _ Freddie. _

"What did you do to him?" John demanded an answer.

"I? Little one, I've done nothing to him. I've merely collected a debt, with interest, I might add."

"What debt?"

"Didn't your star boy tell you? Mercury sold his soul to me in exchange for your friend's life and arm. Mostly arm, if I recall, actually. Either he would have his life but no arm or an arm and no life. At least that's what the doctors said. I make my own deals with death." The demon finished with a casual smirk.

"What were the terms of this "deal"?" John asked with cold fury at the devil's seeming nonchalance about death.

"That I would let Brian live out the rest of his days in peace. Mercury would have his soul until his love left him."

Something caught in John's throat. The devil continued.

"I must say I didn't think you were the object of his affections. Even our Prince of Darkness would wish to bed Mercury, given the opportunity. You, well...are nothing special. I was sure he'd tire of you first, but apparently, I was wrong. Oh, well…I must be going now."

"Wait! No!"

The devil rolled his eyes.

"What is it now?" He seemed frustrated. John didn't care.

"Can I sell my soul to bring him back."

"John, no!" Exclaimed his bandmates, but John held his ground.

"Please?"

"Uh, no. That's not allowed. You can't sell your soul for someone who's sold their soul already. Honestly, that's basic stuff. Learn."

John felt all hope leave him.

"What can I do?"

"What would you do to get him back?" The demon approached him slowly.

"Anything." Answered John promptly.

"Anything?" The devil quirked an eyebrow, looking John up and down like a piece of meat.

"Anything." John's voice broke as he dropped to his knees, looking up through heavy eyelashes.

Roger and Brian watched in horror as the devil approached John and ran a scaly, hot finger against the bassist's uplifted chin. John shivered against the touch of the demon. The rough digits stroked gently over his face. John's lip trembled, he couldn't help it. The way the monster was looking at him, as if John was merely a toy, disconcerted him. The demon let his finger play over John's lips before pushing roughly into his mouth. Somewhere behind him, John was aware of Brian's gasp of horror and Roger's muffled curse. Something in the demon's eyes gleamed terribly, as he pushed his fingers against the inside of John's cheek; the thrust of his fingers visible to the others. John felt hot tears prick his eyes.  _ For Freddie _ .

At last, the monster withdrew his fingers. John's saliva glistened for a moment in the burning light before the demon wiped them across the side of John's face. A single burning tear fell from his grey-green eyes.

"You'd let me do anything I wanted with you if it brought back your friend? You'd let me fuck you bloody right here in front of your bandmates, wouldn't you? If I told you to beg for my cock, you would. You'd try to be the best little cumslut for me if I asked." The leer in the demon's eyes was positively monstrous. Behind him, John could feel Roger's discomfort. Their drummer had never liked that sort of talk. Degradation was too close to actual experiences. Not for the first time, John was thankful that his parents had always been good to him. 

John nodded tearfully.  _ For Freddie. _ To John’s absolute horror, the demon laughed. 

"You think," The monster was having trouble speaking through his mirth. "You think that I would want you? I who have bedded gods and kings? I've met mortals who'd have given their life to suck my cock. And you think I would want a tired, little, old man?"

John felt the last of his hope crushed.

"Then what must I do?"

The demon smirked.

"I will give you one chance to fetch your Mercury. You must descend into Hades and bring him forth. And," A maelstrom began forming about the demon, hiding it from view, but its voice could be heard. "And you must not look back!"

A small puff of smoke was all that was left of the monster. For an instant, silence reigned in the dark garden. Then, with the sound of the earth groaning in distress, a cavern opened in the ground, the door to The Underworld. John stood up from his kneeling position.

"Deaky, no." Protested Roger.

"But I must." There was no regret in John's voice, no doubt in his heart.  _ For Freddie _ . But before he left his friends, he needed to say goodbye. John moved to them and pressed a soft kiss on each of their foreheads. 

"I'll be back, I promise. And I'll bring Freddie too." He swore to them.

"We love you, John."

"I know. I love you too."

And with that, John left them, disappearing into the darkness. Brian and Roger sat waiting. 

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

For a long time, John could see nothing. He followed the sound of flowing water, with arms outstretched. He passed over the six rivers with the help of filthy Charon. He walked through a crowd of beasts: Centaurs, Gorgons, Chimeras, and Harpies. John rested in the shade of the Elm with Oneirori, who snored peacefully beside him. He came to the gates of the underworld and snuck past Cerberus, who slept like the dead. He ran through the Asphodel Meadows, passed the souls of the ordinary. John knew Freddie would not be there. He slowed when he reached the Mourning Fields. And here he cast a few glances among the souls who had wasted their life for unrequited love. But he was not there. Time seemed to pass differently in the underworld. It seemed as if hours passed until John, at last, reached Elysium, the place where those who had achieved great things to rest in paradise.

》* 。 • ˚ ˚ ˛ ˚ ˛ • 。* 。° 。* 。 • ˚《

When, at last, John sighted Freddie, it almost took his breath away. There he was, strong and joyful. He didn't look like the Freddie John had last seen; this was Freddie before he got sick.  _ 1986 _ , John realized with a jolt. And there he was, sitting with a few other people. The singer was dressed only in a short, yellow, silk robe that barely covered his hips and thighs while leaving his chest completely exposed. He was eating grapes. John's heart overflowed with emotion.  _ Freddie _ . Next to him, sat a woman, gorgeous to behold. Aphrodite: Venus, the name sprung unbidden to his mind, but it must be. The goddess of love was wrapped in something vaguely pink and as a sheer cobweb. The curves of her graceful body, visible. A nude handmaiden knelt, perfectly still, at her feet, holding the goddess' wine glass. Beside her sat Dionysus, the god of wine, entwined sensuously with a boy. A rather young boy for John's taste. When the two men shifted, he caught a better glimpse of the boy's face. Cupid, he recognized the face from paintings. When a soft moan came from Cupid's lips, John suddenly felt awkward for staring. And then Freddie caught sight of him. The singer's reaction was instantaneous. The easy smile fell from his face.

"John." He said. "Your not- not-" Freddie let the unspoken question hanging in the air.

"No, Fred, I'm not. I'm alive and well." John reassured him." I'm here to take you back."

The gods next to Freddie shifted their attention to the two reunited friends. Freddie stood up, opening his arms to John. The bassist ran to him, wrapping his arms around Freddie's lithe, healthy body, breathing in his scent, burying his head in Freddie's shoulder. John felt his tears of joy press wetly in the other's neck. He held on for dear life, not wanting to lose him ever again.

"Fred, let's get out of here." He begged. Freddie shook his head.

"The gates are locked 'till the morning. We must wait until then."

"Then how did I get in?" Asked John confused. Freddie smiled.

"One can always enter Hades, but you can only leave at dawn." Freddie wrapped his arms around John again. "I missed you, darling. Come sit. You look exhausted."

John complied, letting Freddie lead him to the devan where he curled up next to Freddie, trying to stay as close as possible.

"Fred," John asked seriously. "What actually happened. The demon said that you sold-"

Freddie's face darkened.

"You summoned him?"

John hesitated, alarmed.

"Y-yes."

"What did he make you do?" The singer's voice was soft with concern.

"N-nothing." John stammered. The singer just looked at him, waiting. John blushed.

"He touched my face. And- he put his fingers in my mouth." John's voice trailed off into a whisper. "But I let him. I told him I would."

Freddie was looking at him with concern.

"Nothing else?"

"No, no." John hastened to assure him. "He said- well, he didn't want me." Then a sudden worry blossomed in John's chest.

"He didn't- Oh, Freddie!"

The singer looked away, not wanting to meet John's eyes. Then Freddie spoke, voice thick with anger.

"He said it would save Brian. But he tricked me. It would keep Brian alive, but I had to sell my soul to save his arm. It doesn't matter, it was a long time ago anyway."

Tears formed in John's eyes. He couldn't imagine being raped by that thing. 

"Why didn't you tell me of any of this?"

"I wasn't allowed to tell anyone but Bri. Part of the rules. And I especially wasn't allowed to tell you."

"Why me?" Asked John, before remembering what the demon had said: " _ Mercury will have his soul until his love leaves him." _

"Because you're my love." 

And John then remembered. 

**It was 1986. John's youngest kid was three years old. His 11th anniversary with Veronica was right around the corner. His 14th anniversary with Freddie had just passed. What had started as a drunken fling, had become something more, something more profound to them. Veronica still didn't know. Brian and Roger vaguely knew that something was up, but it wasn't like they could complain. After all, they'd been together before even Freddie joined the band. Despite Veronica not knowing, she still wanted John to be a better father. It wasn't as if John wasn't aware of his bad parenting. It wasn't as if he didn't feel guilty about it. He did. And he wished he could do better. He owed to his kids to try. So, Freddie and him and to end. He couldn't keep both of his lives up. It wasn't the kids' fault that he was cheating on their mother. He shouldn't neglect them. So here John was, standing at Freddie's door at Garden Lodge. Joe Fanelli opened the door.**

**"Hey, Joe. Is Fred in?"**

**"Yeah, come on in. He's upstairs."**

**John made his way up the stairs to Freddie's room. He knocked.**

**"Who is it?" Asked Freddie, coquettishly. John felt his heartbreak a little more.**

**"It's me. John."**

**"Come on in, Darling."**

**Freddie sat on the floor of his bedroom, a canvas resting on his thighs, holding a wet paintbrush in his hand. A small bit of yellow paint was on his nose. He looked adorable. It reminded John of when they were both young. Freddie set the canvas down and rested the paintbrush on his palate. **

**"Deaky!" He rushed forward and pressed a kiss onto the bassist's lips. John let himself melt into the embrace. The last kiss. He knew that Freddie had gotten some paint on his face. But he didn't care.**

**"Is everything alright, dear?" Asked Freddie, noticing a change in the bassist's usually calm demeanor. **

**"Uh, everything's fine… I guess. Um. I really don't know how to say this, Fred. But I want you to know that I love you. A lot. And I will never stop loving you. I'd go to the ends of the earth for you, Freddie. But I have a wife and kids. It's the kids I really care about. They deserve a good father. And right now. I'm not a good father; I need to be one."**

**Freddie looked up at him.**

**"You're breaking up with me." It wasn't a question; it was a statement. **

**John nodded.**

**"Are you leaving the band too?"**

**"No! No, I could never do that. I-I'm sorry, Fred."**

**John was worried that Freddie would throw a fit. He didn't often, but if Freddie ever had a right to throw one, it would be now. Instead, it was John who was crying now. Freddie just looked a little shocked and dazed. **

**"One last time, Deaky?"**

**John nodded. Anything for you, Freddie.**

**It was slow, and it pained John's heart, but it was perfect as always. As John thrust slowly, lovingly into Freddie's tight heat, he couldn't help but feel as if maybe he was making a mistake. Freddie wrapped his legs around John's back, pulling him closer, pulling him deeper. Freddie let out high moans as John leaned forward and muffled the singer's lips with his own. They came together. One last time. John cleaned them up. Slowly, carefully, as always. **

**"I'm sorry." He whispered. Freddie shook his head even as tears formed in his eyes.**

**"Don't be. You'll make a wonderful dad."**

John felt guilt stab into him like a knife. He had made a mistake all those years back. It was what killed Freddie. 

"Why!? Why did you let me go?" John was crying now.

"I wouldn't ever dream of keeping you, John. Not when you wanted to be somewhere else."

"But I need you." Whispered John.

"Then why did you leave me?"

The words cut John to the quick. They were true, of course, John had left Freddie. But he regrets every single moment of it. Not just because Freddie had died, no, because John loved him.

"When we go back, I'll separate from Veronica, and when the kids are with me, we'll raise them together. We'll be dads together."

"The world isn't quite ready for that, John," Freddie said with a sad smile.

"We're Queen. Fuck what the world is ready for."

Freddie raised his head, meeting John's gaze.

"You'd really do that?"

"Yes."

Freddie flung his arms around John, pulling him close.

"I love you, John Richard Deacon."

"And I, you, Freddie Mercury."

And John kissed Freddie. The first of many more to come.  _ For you, Freddie. For always. _

_________________________

It would be four hours until John and Freddie could leave the underworld and return to Brian and Roger. So Freddie showed him around. John looked, wide-eyed, at the beautiful place. 

"This is what is waiting for us?" He asked in awe.

"For Queen, at least; we did something great. This is our reward."

Somehow that comforted John. He still did not want to die, and he still feared the experience. But knowing what lay beyond was comforting. 

"Y'know," Freddie whispered conspiratorially. "I hear sex is supposed to feel ten times better here."

John blushed, but he could feel heat coil in his stomach. It had been five years since he slept with Freddie, and he would be lying to say that he didn't miss it. 

"You haven't had sex here yet?"

Freddie shook his head. 

"You don't get the same urges here. People fuck because they want to, not because they get horny. It's just like a hobby. I just haven't really wanted to yet. Until now. Until you." Freddie had leaned in. The last words were whispered against John’s ear.

John blushed again. 

"Well, how am I gonna say "no" to sex in paradise?" He asked with a sweet smile. John kissed Freddie again. Gentle and slow, savoring the feeling he had missed for so long. His hands went to Freddie's scantily clad hips, clutching at the thin, smooth silk. Freddie hummed into the kiss, canting his hips perfectly into John's grasp.

"I love you, my sweet," John whispered against Freddie's lips.

"I love you too." Freddie moaned at the feeling of his lover's body. "But you're wearing far too many clothes."

John stepped back a bit, and shed his button-up shirt, stripping off his trousers, until he was left in his boxers. Freddie licked his lips. They moved to a nearby devan, where they resumed their snogging. 

"God, I love kissing you, Deaky."

John hummed in agreement. Kissing Freddie was like drinking fire, it made a pleasant buzz stir in his veins. 

"I want you to top this time." John breathed. Freddie nodded eagerly. John kissed him again, drowning in the sensation of being with his lover. Freddie slowly pushed down his boxers and palmed the bassist's cock. John's hips bucked in response, and he mewled into Freddie's neck.

"Don't worry, kitten, I won't tease you- tonight."

Freddie reached over onto the floor and picked up a bottle of what looked like oil.

"It may be paradise, but they're not that advanced. We'll have to make do with Virgin oil, despite neither of us being virgins."

John giggled, which turned into a gasp as Freddie probed at his entrance with a finger dripping in oil. 

"Oh, Fred." He moaned quietly. "I love you so much."

John had never been into really dirty talk. When he was in the throes of passion, he reverted to babbling is affections out loud. Not that Freddie minded. He thought it was charming. And hot. Freddie also knew that dirty talk didn't really do much for John either. His Deaky preferred praise. So he made sure to give him lots of it. Freddie may have been used to the rough, club sex, filled with dirty talk and degradation, but he preferred what he had with John. It was sweet and pure. Something he never wanted to taint.

"You so good for me. Look so pretty when you're relaxed."

Freddie added another finger. In the underworld, prepping took a lot less time, but he wanted to make sure that John was loose enough.

"There you are, darling. I'm gonna make you feel so good."

"Mm, god, I want you in me. Need you." John whimpered as Freddie withdrew his slick fingers. Freddie lubed up his cock and moved into a comfortable position, hovering over his lover. John bit his lip as Freddie's cock nudged against his opening.

"Alright, dear?"

"Mhm. Just- I haven't done this in a long time."

Freddie pressed a comforting kiss onto John's forehead.

"I'm gonna take care of you, love, ok?"

John nodded. Freddie pressed inside slowly. The look of ecstasy which crossed over John's face as he nudged against his prostate was worth everything in the world to Freddie. 

"So. Beautiful, my love." Freddie breathed hoarsely. John smiled sweetly, his eyes flickering open. 

"I want to be with you forever, Freddie." The bassist keened as Freddie thrust deeper.

"We will be."

"You promise?" John moaned, voice breaking as Freddie's cock pressed against his prostate.

"I promise." 

They came together, chasing down their release hand-in-hand.

___________________________________________

It was a slow journey back to the overworld. The underworld’s dawn light was heavy with fog. The light rays of the sun, turning the world around them into a mauve haze.

"Don't look back." Urged John. And Freddie squeezed his hand.

"Never."

"Will you miss it?" John asked wonderingly. Freddie shook his head.

"No. I'll be back here. But I want to be here with you."

They walked on for a while. Hand in hand. Suddenly, John chuckled.

"What?" Asked Freddie, fondly.

"I just realized, we're the same age." John giggled.

Freddie's eyes widened in surprise.

"I didn't think of that. Ooh, that's fun."

John chuckled.

"I suppose. At least I'm not the youngest. Actually, following the order of birthdays, I'm older than you."

Freddie waggled his eyebrows.

"Ooh, daddy."

John blushed.

"Fred."

They walked past the fields of mourners, and the souls there watched with tears in their eyes at the two lovers. The passed on, walking hand in hand silently. Once or twice, Freddie felt the urge to look back. But he resisted it. Freddie knew that one day, he would return here. The underworld had no more power over him. John, on the other hand, was struggling. The dread of death still clung to him. The pull was stronger for him. He tried to keep up appearances.  _ For Freddie _ . But it was no use.

"Freddie. I don't think I can do it." John stopping where he stood and sinking to his knees in desperation.

"Darling!" Freddie was careful not to look back, so he backed up until he was behind John before kneeling behind him. He wrapped his arms around the lithe bassist, pressing his face against John's neck. 

"Don't worry, my dear. Close your eyes and take a breather ok. I'm right here."

John nodded and closed his eyes, trying to relax. But he still felt the urge to look back. He was too afraid to close his eyes. Freddie noticed John's tension, but he had an idea.

"What if I blindfold you, Deaky?" Would that help?" 

John nodded. So, Freddie held the hem of his shirt and tore off a segment. He placed it gently, but snug, against John's eyes and tied it firmly in place.

"How's that?"

"I-i think it's ok." 

They continued Freddie, leading John by his hand. They passed back over the rivers and made their way slowly up the thousands of steps to the overworld. They walked out into the harsh morning light. Freddie untied the blindfold, and John blinked blearily at the overworld. In front of the entrance to the cave, lay Brian and Roger, curled up together, asleep. As they left the opening of the cave, the ground began to shudder. It closed with a mighty crash of boulders, jolting their bandmates out of their repose.

"F-freddie." Stammered Roger, before leaping to his feet and wrapping his arms tight around his friend.

"Roggie." Freddie choked out as the blond fairly squeezed the air out of him. "Bri."

And the four of them embraced as brothers. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, please let me know through kudos or comments.  
Thank you!


End file.
